Surviving Your 20’s
Surviving Your 20’s: How To Make The Most Of Them
Turning 18 is a milestone birthday in our society — you are now officially an adult! You’ve dreamed of and anticipated this moment for years. You’ve waited and worked hard, and now you’re ready to take on the world. However, perhaps no one warned you about the complex feelings and mixed emotions coursing through your mind and body once leaving high school for college or leaving college for the real world.
Instead of feeling euphoric and hopeful, you may be filled with fear and dread. You may be feeling lost and confused. You may be feeling left behind and unable to catch up.
Thriving In Your 20's Is A Challenge
In school, students prepare for the real world. You go to classes, find a focus, invest time and money, and expect the real world to play out as you hope. Despite understanding that post-high school and post-college things would change, you may be finding those changes were (or are) more complicated than anticipated.
Although you may have thrived in a school setting and with peers, you may find yourself failing at many things for the first time, impacting your self-esteem.
- You failed to land that job you wanted or get into the university you have dreamed about for years.
- You stink at dating or feel like dating is exhausting and not worth your time.
- You may be living alone and feeling the loneliness of not having a close group of friends.
Your Feelings & Emotions Will Be Everywhere
The pressure of attending college or finding a career path in your 20’s brings on a range of emotions. Going from a college or high school schedule to a full-time 8-5 pm work day can bring on stress and depression.
Our high school systems are just that, a system. They teach you to test and to test well to get into a university after high school. Once you have successfully entered a university or program, you get to study what you want to major in — at least for the last couple of years of your education.
Studying what you want to major in reinforces that you’re being prepared for the real world and the workforce you desire. But did they teach you that feeling anxious about getting your first job upon completing your education is normal and natural? In addition unfamiliar pressures may be increasing:
- Applying for jobs that have something to do with your major can be draining.
- The debt you may have from college increases the pressure you may be putting on yourself.
- Your parents may be concerned as you update your resume and struggle through your first couple of interviews.
More commonly, you may technically be an adult but still feel like there is so much you do not know or understand.
It is important to seek help from a professional if you are starting to believe that there is something wrong with you for not knowing all the answers to what you want in life.
While desperate for independence from your parents you’re learning that autonomy costs money, and you do not have much of that. On top of all that, the complex feelings get exasperated by navigating social changes as your friends go in different directions, your parents no longer pay your bills, and you realize responsibilities bring real-world consequences.
Our comparison culture online and within social groups does not help during this phase of life. Seeing friends post only the best pictures, their happiest achievements, and their favorite moments on social media makes it feel like you are not enough.
Not knowing what you want to do when you grow up, what romantic partner you want to have, or who you are in general is more common than not.
Going To Therapy Can Help
While therapy has become more popular in the last 20’s years, there is still some stigma around asking for help when you are not ok. You may also pressure yourself internally by telling yourself that these unpleasant feelings will go away once you achieve a particular goal (a job, a committed relationship, a new apartment, etc.).
While that may be true for temporary feelings of healthy stress, chronic stress that leads to excessive worry, judgment of yourself, comparison to others, or lack of motivation will most likely not disappear once you achieve that goal.
According to Forbes, Young adults ages 18 to 25 in the U.S. have the highest rate of experiencing mental health concerns (33.7%) compared to adults aged 26 to 49 years and the highest rate of severe mental illness (11.4%).
You are not alone in your feelings and should reach out to start feeling better.
Which Types Of Therapy Are Best For Anxiety/Stress/Depression?
- Talk therapy during your 20's can provide a place to process all the changes and pressures you’re feeling. Expressing to an unbiased professional how hard adulting is can be surprisingly cathartic.
- Learning Cognitive Behavior Techniques (CBT) will help you reframe unwanted thoughts and build self-confidence. A more confident self can perform better in a job, romantic relationship, and social friendships.
How To Get Your Life Together In Your 20's?
- Be sure you're also taking care of yourself physically by eating as healthy as possible, getting enough sleep, and avoiding excessive partying. These practices will all improve your mood.
Friendships evolve and change in your 20’s as you and your friends go through similar self-actualization work.
- Put energy into your friendships as much as you can, and be cautious of fair-weather friendships. Part of becoming more adult-like is noticing what social relationships make you a stronger, more confident human and recognizing those who do not.
Our society glorifies our 20’s, and while it can be an exciting time for many, it also brings many challenges.
Now that I’m older, I have great empathy for those caught up in the emotional turmoil of being a young adult. I also have great confidence I can help guide my clients through the challenges they’re facing. Those challenges can feel less overwhelming with the help of a therapist. If you need to talk, please reach out to me today.
Get In Touch
If you are looking for a therapist in Littleton, Colorado, I offer a free 15 minute consultation to help you decide if therapy together is a good step. I look forward to connecting with you soon.